


A Choice, Not an Obligation

by seacliffs



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Consent Issues, Fuck Or Die, Hurt/Comfort, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani is an Incurable Romantic, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Protective Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Sex Pollen, Team Feels, but Nicky does not feel he has been violated, consent issues in the sense that Joe gets sex pollened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:08:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25674067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seacliffs/pseuds/seacliffs
Summary: "Oops," Kozak says from next to Joe's bed, doing whatever the fuck she's doing to the light of Nicky's life. "Oh dear."Nicky's entire body jerks to look over at them. "What? What do you mean 'oops'?!" he demands.-----------------------------------------------------Joe loses himself to the effects of a sex pollen drug. Nicky is willing to do anything to take care of him.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 19
Kudos: 542





	A Choice, Not an Obligation

Nicky thinks it probably can't get worse than getting a needle stuck into his heart and being forced to die and heal around it and immediately die again, over and over, right before everything gets a whole lot worse.

"Oops," Kozak says from next to Joe's bed, doing whatever the fuck she's doing to the light of Nicky's life. "Oh dear."

Nicky's entire body jerks to look over at them. "What? What do you mean 'oops'?!" he demands.

Joe inhales a ragged gasp and tries to sit up. Kozak quickly backs away.

"That was a bad miscalculation," she mutters to herself.

"What was? What did you do?" Nicky yells, as she begins to exit the lab. "What did you do to him?!" he screams at her retreating back. She doesn't deign to give him any response at all.

"Joe, Joe, my love, tell me you're okay," Nicky says, turning his attention back to the more important thing. "What did she do?"

"She injected something," Joe says, his voice sounding off. That has sort of been the par for course here, they have been injected with countless things to see how their bodies would react, but none of them have been an unplanned mistake that sent the scientist scurrying out of the lab. "I don't feel…right."

"It'll be okay," Nicky soothes, "just hang in there, we'll get out of here soon."

Joe murmurs an agreeing sound, but it turns into a moan. Nicky's heart skips several beats. Joe looks flushed, and sweat is starting to bead at his temples. His pupils are very dilated when he looks at Nicky to reassure him, and his body squirms, seemingly involuntarily. Nicky aches to break out of his restraints to go to him. 

The squirming doesn't stop, and after a while it becomes apparent what the problem is. There is a growing bulge between his legs, tenting his trousers. Joe looks horrified when he finally realizes, after Nicky, what is happening. "Why is this happening?" he asks brokenly. He looks equal parts mortified and miserable. 

It doesn't ultimately change anything, because Nicky has already known how this will end: their friends will arrive, and they will slaughter everyone who caused them pain. But now Nicky thinks maybe he'll make sure that Dr. Kozak dies slow.

As time drags on, Joe starts getting more and more distressed. His breathing hitches faster, and his skin gets fever-red. His hips involuntarily rise from the bed, thrusting at nothing, while he moans and then looks ashamed for not being able to stop his moans. Throughout the whole time, Nicky reassures him in Arabic and Italian that it will be okay. Neither of them asks how. They don't know how, but it has to be okay.

And then of course Andy and Booker show up, less in a blaze of gunfire and more zip tied and subdued. 

Nicky yells at the guards who strap them in to get Joe some help, to let him go to Joe, to get the evil doctor, for Christ's sake, but they too just give Joe's bed a wide berth and stomp back out.

"What's the matter?" Andy asks, nodding towards Joe. 

Nicky is reluctant to expose his lover to further humiliation, so instead he redirects the question back to her. "What's the matter with _you_?" he asks, eyeing Andy's still bleeding wound.

They get the whole sad story out of Andy and Booker, and if more than half of Nicky's mind wasn't still dedicated to worry about Joe, he would have more of a reaction to Booker's betrayal. Even Joe manages to muster up some anger, yelling insults on Booker's honour before breaking off into a long moan.

Andy raises her eyebrow at Nicky. 

Joe's erection is so swollen now that strains against his pants, a clear stark outline of the exact shape of his cock threatening to burst the seams. It must be painful. "They experimented on him," Nicky says tightly. "Apparently this was an unintended effect."

Luckily, the guns ablaze entrance that Nicky was expecting does come true after all, in the form of Nile. She makes quick work of freeing Andy, then starts to undo Joe's straps.

"No, don't!" Joe cries. He sounds scared of what he would do. 

Nile pauses, uncertain.

"It's okay," Nicky says, keeping his voice the very definition of equanimity. "Just get mine first, I will take care of him."

She shoots Joe another look before turning to open Nicky's arm restraints.

"Is he gonna be okay?" she asks under her breath, while Nicky shucks the straps holding his legs as quickly as he can.

"He will be. I will make sure of it," Nicky says. 

She looks scared, but also unbowed. She nods grimly and tosses guns to Andy and Booker, gets them all ready for the fight ahead. She is so brave and beautiful, the newest member of their family, and Nicky knows that once again destiny has proven that it doesn't choose wrong. 

Andy and Booker make their way over to Joe's bed, and Nicky quickly intercepts. "Don't come near him," he warns, giving Booker a hard look. "Either of you. He doesn't want it to be like this."

They understand, and back off. "Join us when you've put him back together," Andy says.

"We will follow the sound of all the screaming men being sliced through by Andromache," Nicky agrees.

She smiles at him, then turns soft eyes to Joe. She almost reaches out a hand to pat his shoulder, but he turns away in humiliation, hiding his hot face against the pillow even while the lower half of his body surges up as far as the restraints will let him, bucking towards her hand.

"Alright," Andy says, face turning hard, "let's go get every last one of those sons of bitches." 

They lock the door on their way out, and even though Nicky is sure they've killed every person who could have come back into the lab, he still wedges a chair under the handle just in case. For privacy. And then he runs to his love, ripping off the straps.

"No, Nico, you should go with them, you shouldn't be here," Joe says frantically, even as his hands scrabble to pull Nicky close. 

"Hush, don't be ridiculous, there's nowhere else I can be." 

"I can ride this out," Joe argues, "what's the worst it can do, kill me? Let it kill me then, I would rather die than allow myself to debasing you with this…this…" he chokes off with a sob. 

"It does not debase me, you silly, romantic, wonderful man," Nicky says, undoing the last strap holding Joe back. "Why would I leave you to suffer when I'm right here? Let me take care of you."

Now unchained, Joe pounces onto Nicky. Although their words to each other are tender, Joe's hands are not. He rips off Nicky's belt, almost literally in his haste, and almost before Nicky knows what is happening he finds himself face down on the floor, bare arse up for Joe's taking.

There is no lube here, of course, nothing to ease the entry. Out of self-preservation, and to prevent Joe from creating a memory he can't erase, Nicky sticks two fingers in his mouth and wets them quickly, reaching behind himself to slick his hole as best as he can with his saliva. It's not ideal, it barely does the job, but when Joe knocks his hand away so he can push in, Nicky doesn't feel anything tearing enough to cause blood, and that's good enough for him.

Joe ruts into him with an unnatural franticness, unlike any way he has ever fucked before. Nicky has had him innumerable, uncountable times, and never has he felt used like this, even when he was in the mood to be. It's like Joe isn't even doing this for pleasure, like he is fucking just to stay alive, like the joy the two of them can create with their bodies against each other has been sucked out of him. He drives in and out of Nicky brutally, and although it hurts, it is nothing compared to the pain in Nicky's heart at the thought of what this will do to Joe when he comes back to himself.

When Nicky feels an unfamiliar feeling of wet drops on his back and realizes it's Joe's tears, he decides enough is enough. "Joe, my love, let me turn over," he says. He prays that Joe can even understand him, and that if he can, that he is able to control his body to give Nicky a moment to move.

Joe pauses, pulling out, and Nicky turns over with a groan. His joints hurt from being ground into the lab floor but the aches heal as soon as he readjusts. He is on his back now, so he can see Joe, hair wild and sweaty, eyes glazed over, chest heaving, cock jutting out so engorged that it's purple at the head. Even in this awful state, Nicky refuses to not want this man. 

"Come here, then," he says, holding his own legs wide in invitation. 

Joe dives back into him with a roar, and this time Nicky is afraid he does tear, but it heals quickly and Joe can't see from this position so it's fine. At least now he can wrap his arms around Joe, encourage him to bury his burning face against Nicky's neck, whisper endearments into his hair as he thrusts, as he gluts himself on Nicky's body and takes everything he offers, everything that already belongs to Joe anyway, now and forever.

It takes him a long time to come, like whatever drug is causing his torture is prolonging it by keeping his body hanging. Nicky kisses his face and pets him, dips his fingers into the cleft of his arse and rubs encouragingly at the hot rim of his entrance. Joe sinks his teeth into Nicky's shoulder and Nicky tightens his legs around his hips. Eventually, finally, he comes with a noise that doesn't sound human, more like the lowing of an animal in pain. 

He collapses onto Nicky and slips out. Nicky bites his lip at the sensation but doesn't stop stroking his hands over Joe, soothing down his back, scratching into his hair, squeezing him close. His heartbeat against Nicky's chest is still much too fast, like a bird's, but everything else in his body subsides, and he is pliant and still. 

When his eyes finally open again, Nicky can see that his Joe has returned to him, and he smiles.

"Nicky…" he whimpers, like someone who has just shattered something precious to him, and Nicky shushes him. "All is well, Yusuf."

They indulge in just one short minute to hold each other, but then they need to put their clothes back on and get their heads back in the game. They have bastards to kill.

Nicky sacrifices his underwear to clean off the sticky mess between his cheeks. There's only one person's spend to worry about, since he had been soft almost the whole time, and what semi erection he had by the end had died at the wounded sound Joe made when he finished. 

In spite of what just passed, they work like a well-oiled machine. Perhaps they are a little too hesitant to be apart, and perhaps that causes Nicky to get shot when he otherwise wouldn't, but despite that little setback he still thinks they kill their way to Andy with admirable efficiency.

Joe kills the man who shot him, Nile kills Merrick. Nicky wishes they would've found Kozak so he could kill her, but Andy is mortal now, and needs rest and antibiotics. It will have to be a personal project for another day. 

They drive away to a safe house crammed too many people into a too small car. He and Joe still smell of sex and antiseptic comingled. Joe looks emptily out the window and doesn't say anything the whole ride there. Nicky is not used to his silence, but to be fair there is too much to say, between what has happened and what to do with Booker and the ramifications of what Andy has become, he wouldn't know where to start even if he wanted to talk.

That night, after they have cleaned every scent off them and their bodies hold no evidence of what has passed, Nicky crawls into bed with Joe. He puts himself between Joe and the door, like always, and Joe puts his arm around him, like always. 

"You are shaking," he says quietly to Joe.

"I can't stop thinking about how you got shot," Joe says. That is not what Nicky expected to be running through Joe's mind on repeat.

He turns over in his arms, nose knocking against Joe's. "Tell me."

"Every time you die, my heart dies a brief death as I hold my breath thinking it could be the last time. But this time, I looked at your brains on the floor and thought about how if this was the last time, then your last memory of me would be—" He can't continue, can't put into words the enormity of what the drugs forced his body to do in that lab, or what he thought it was that he did to Nicky.

Nicky half smiles at him, crooked and patient. "You think too much," he says, leaning forward to kiss the lines between Joe's eyes away.

"I think of nothing but you, every second of the day," Joe says, in his predictably Joe way, and it makes Nicky smile more fully.

"Think of this: I am here. We're both here, alive. And there no memory between us that I would not cherish with my dying breath. Not any of the times you killed me, or any of the times we have argued, and certainly not what happened today. They are all good, because they are with you."

Joe sobs, and Nicky pulls him in close, and knows he understands that it's the truth, because it is the same with him the other way.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I don't have a tumblr, so if you liked it please tell your friends about it. :)


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